Remember that back in the day? Kids who thought they would be out of the bus driver's line of sight would flock to the back of the bus where they could fire saliva-laden notebook paper from straws, or mess with the drivers of passing vehicles.
Apparently old habits die hard. Regardless of age, the rowdier Hounders still head straight for the back of the bus, where they can more freely discuss drug abuse and parole dates, or simply overcompensate for being a Hounder in the first place.
Clearly, this company suffers from a brand image problem, for it seems that everyone using its services is in some way embarrassed by it. Often, people will be sure to let others know something like: "I always fly. I never take the bus, but this time once-in-a-lifetime event forced me on board."
So, I find myself sitting as close to the front as possible. Bulkhead (if you will) is my favorite spot. Right in front where it is less likely someone with a train conductor hat and few teeth will peer through the seats at my laptop and exclaim "Damn son! Them er some big words!" (see last post.)
But alas, sometimes being in the front doesn't ensure a quiet ride. One woman, bless her little heart, was two rows behind me and I knew from the start she'd be interesting. From the moment she sat down, she started in with "Damn! Somebody got some funk on this bus! Y'all need to brush your teeth or something! That's just disrespectful to come up here smelling like that."
I love that, by the way. The thought that one would chose to smell bad with the intent to offend. Turns out it was some man who clearly suffered from mental illness, but he's not the story.
The story is Rachel. She who immediately sat down cursing the foul odors of others. She got on the phone and (based on her rather vocal, profanity-laden, one-sided account of recent events) I learned that she was headed home to meet her boyfriend who was getting out of prison that day. She waited seven years for him, but feared that another girl was to rendezvous with him before she made it home.
So in this situation, who you gonna call? No, not ghostbusters, but gramma.
Rachel must have a great relationship with her grandmother, since after getting through the story of the possible unfaithful parolee, she calmed down considerably. In fact, just minutes in the conversion, Rachel exclaims "gramma, your so fuckin silly!"
Like I said, they clearly have a great relationship, because then she took a charming trip down memory lane.
"Gramma, you know what Johnny said to me the other day? He said, 'you remember that house your gramma had on 15th? I liked that house.' I said, 'you did? Why?' 'cuz our bed was in the kitchen!' And gramma, you remember when you got on me for having sex in the kitchen in the afternoon? That was so funny!"
At this point, you might be thinking I'm rude for eavesdropping. But Rachel is really loud by this time. In fact, she's so loud the guy next to me told her shut up because there were children on this bus. True. And well said.
So, last week I was amazed at what people tell each other while on the bus. This week, I am astonished by what someone will exclaim loudly in a public place while on the phone.
effin silly.
